SMS Junction

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators

How did santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

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Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

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Santa falls in love with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister.”

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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

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Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long…!

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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl. A lady calls Santa for repairing door

Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

1)   Boss: I’m giving u driver’s job.
Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it OK ?
Santa: U R great sir!
Starting salary is Ok
but how much is DRIVING salary?

2)   Teacher: U call ur mother as MUM…
what’ll u call ur mother’s younger sister & elder sister?
Santa’s son: Mini Mum & Maxi Mum !

3)   Santa to wife: Did u hav any boy friend before marriage?
Wife remain silent.
Santa: Main is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife: Bewakoof ginane to de.

4)   Santa Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki,
radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya, khade-khade karni padi.

5)   Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

6)   Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.
Banta: Wow, Kab?
Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko.

7)   Pappu: Dad what’s Sex?
Santa gets tensed but explains everything.
Pappu: But dad how do I write all that in this small box of school admission form?

8)  Nurse- Congrats: Apke jurwa bete hue hain.
Santa: Ye to hona hi tha.
Nurse- Kyon?
Santa: Jab dekho KBC PART-2 dekhti rahti thi, Mil gaya na UMEED SE DUGNA

1) Santa giving exam while standing at the door.

A man asked “Why are you standing at the door?”

Santa: “Idiot, I am giving entrance test.”

2) Santa: “God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple”.

(After waliking some distance, he finds a 50 rupee note)

Santa: “Shame on you God,

you don’t even trust me a little?

You have already taken your share!”

3) Santa looking at himself in the mirror, “I have seen this man somewhere”.

After half an hour, “Oh, its the same man, who married my wife.”

4) Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?

A: Because they advertised: ‘Free Delivery’

5) Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.

Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

6) Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.

Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

7) Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.

Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.

Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

9) Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?

A: He wanted to see butterfly!